find your mountain.

One of the best things about this life is that we're different.

You're inherently better at some things than I am. You're more dedicated, more sincere, or more perceptive. You're better at serving, or sharing. And that's fine. We'll hopefully use those things we're better at to help and build those around us - you know, Zion.

I've addressed this subject numerous times - revelation - but I'd like to take a slightly different approach.

We all feel close to God in different ways - and that's because we're different. I've felt close to Him through music, through sharing beliefs with others, through testifying, being in the temple, being with family or friends, or being alone. The list goes on.

Today during the Ogden Temple Rededication, Elder Bednar talked about feeling close to God and feeling at home in the temple. It lined up with some stuff I've been thinking about recently.

Mostly, that often times, I feel close to God, and I feel his love, and I feel his awareness of me, when I am surrounded by his creations. This past summer I made a goal to take advantage of the beauty that is so readily available in Utah. It was one of my bigger accomplishments this summer.

There is a reason the temple is called The Mountain of the Lord. I think we all need to find where we personally feel closest to God. Then we can better feel his influence, his guidance, his approval, and his council.

I think many of us feel close to him when we see the beauty of his creation and how small we are comparative to this earth - which hopefully causes us to feel greater awe at God's love for us insignificant beings.

So, we're all different, we all feel close to God in different ways. I'm grateful that I've been able to find some of those ways - and that I've found my literal and figurative mountains.

all the answers.

If we had all the answers right when we wanted them, would we appreciate them as much? Would we have a chance to build and exercise our faith?

I know there's lots of people who would disagree with my ideology on this - that's fine. But, I feel like looking back on my own life, the things that have taken more time, and more work to obtain are the things I value, cherish, and appreciate more. There are plenty of things that have come easily and quickly to me, and I'm grateful for them - but there are other things that have taken a long time, or still haven't come - and when they do I'm certain I will be in the best position to recognize their worth. In the meantime I have a chance to live by faith.

A principle I've learned from attending the temple is that God often says, "that won't be revealed to you right now, but at a later point, it will be." And then it is.

I think we need to recognize that in our lives we're not ever going to have all the answers. Whether you're struggling with understanding God's will, wondering why certain things happen, have issues with doctrine or history - I think we would all benefit from telling ourselves, "Not now - but it will come later." Even if it's not during this life - that's okay. You're okay. We've got enough to go off of. To exercise and build faith requires that we don't know everything.

It may seem an oxymoron - but sometimes I'm grateful that I don't have all the answers, and that God gives me opportunities to build and live on faith.

time only is measured unto men.

I was reading in Alma 40, where Alma is teaching his son Corianton about the resurrection and what happens to us when we die. He talks about the timing of being resurrected, and what our spirits do between when we die and the time of our resurrection.

The end of verse 8 stuck out to me.

". . . all is as one day with God, and time only is measured unto men."

We - or I at least - have a very finite understanding of the eternity of time, and the timing of things. I'd like to better understand God's omniscience and comprehension of time - but that will probably require a considerable amount of learning, and a resurrected body. So for now, I take consolation in knowing that God sees everything: where I've been, what I'm going through, and the potential for my future.

Sometimes I find myself wishing that the blessings would come immediately - a direct and obvious correlation between an action and a blessing or confirmation.

But that's not what faith is, and that's not what trusting God is. That's not the purpose of this life.

God is good and he knows what is good for me. I know that he is in the details of our lives and is directing us to our happiness if we'll be patient and listen. 

fathers.

Having heavenly parents has always made a lot of sense to me. Not because it's something my religion made up to make it feel natural and acceptable when compared to our social norms - but because our families here are patterned after our family in heaven.

In heaven and on earth we are made in their image, and we are their children.

So how do you get to know a Father in Heaven that you can't see. For me, it's been through prayer and understanding the love that my earthly father has for me. The relationship I have with my dad is a type of the relationship I have with my Father in Heaven.

This guy has taught me a whole lot and has always loved me.

Most of that teaching has been through his example:


Consistency. In living the gospel, in fulfilling responsibilities, in taking me home teaching, in there never being a question about whether we'd be going to church that week.

Hard work and diligence reward themselves. Never incentivizing me to do well in school, but expecting that I put my best effort into my studies, talents, and passions.

Meekness and humility. Being teachable, listening, never raising his voice at me, showing when to be patient and when to stand up for yourself.

Follow your passions. He has been following his own dreams for the last 15 years, and as a result I have been able to follow his example with my own goals and dreams. He never told me that art was stupid and that I'd never make money at it - he was supportive and just wanted me to be the best at what I cared about.

Dad jokes. I've worked hard to follow his example and achieve a similar skill set.


I think about these things I learned from my dad and his special way of showing love for me, it's not difficult for me to see how God loves me uniquely and individually.

I know not everyone comes into a situation where their father is supportive or caring, but I'm grateful that my earthly father emulates the love of my Heavenly Father.

my mission.

Today marks four years since I returned home from my mission in Northern California.

As I've been thinking about that experience and my life since being home I've thought about what I gained from serving a mission, and how those things still affect me today.

If you're thinking about serving a mission, I have just a few things to say. It's between you and God when and if you serve - but you will never regret taking that time out of your life to serve others, grow closer to God, get to know yourself better, and have invaluable, life changing experiences. If a mission is not for you or you cannot serve, know that God can give you those experiences through other means.



The things I learned or gained from my mission:

• Learned what it's like to be an immigrant in the US - the culture and issues that those people face on a day to day basis.
• There are so many new and awesome things you can experience if you step out of your comfort zone - food, culture, schools of thought, people, skills, etc.
• How God communicates with me and some of the ways that I receive personal revelation.
• Establishing patterns in my life - scripture study, prayer, temple attendance.
• How to live the gospel as me - if God wanted robots to preach the gospel, we'd have an army of robot missionaries - instead he calls young individuals to teach. I learned that there were strengths (and weaknesses) that I had that others didn't - which was a good thing. We strengthened and complimented each other, and reached people who couldn't have been reached by others.
• Patience, diligence, and faith.
• God keeps promises.
• The gift of agency. 
• The Atonement not only allows us to be forgiven of sin, but to overcome our weaknesses, and be enabled to do hard things. 
• God's plan is much better than mine.
• Spanish. 

Those are just some of the things. 

I'm grateful for those two years, the companions I had, the people I taught, the experiences I had, and for the things I gained from serving a mission. 

agency.

I've always thought Agency and the Fall would make a fantastic hardcore band name.


Agency is one of my favorite facets of the gospel - and perhaps one that causes me the most personal frustration.

In D&C 58:26-29 the Lord is pretty straightforward when he says, ". . . it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things . . . is a slothful and not a wise servant . . . men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will . . . the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves . . . he that doeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned."

Agency is sacred to our Father in Heaven - it's why he "lets bad things happen." He cannot and will not step in every time someone chooses to use their agency unwisely, including when it hurts his children whom he loves.

This is not to say that he is not a God of miracles whose will cannot be thwarted - but he loves us enough to let us make decisions ourselves.

I'm pretty opinionated about certain aspects of agency, but I'll treat one of them briefly.


It is my personal opinion that each of us has a specific mission to fulfill in this life. And that mission is best fulfilled if certain things happen in our lives. For some it's where and if they serve a mission, for others it is a specific career, or a certain place they should raise their family, or how many kids they should bring into the world, and for others it is who they should marry, etc. I think for each of us it's usually only one or two these things - not all of them. And this is where the agency thing comes into play.

We can choose to not fulfill our earthly mission. God will not force us to do any of these things, though he may spiritually slap us around until we realize how foolish we're being - again that's a choice we make - to act on that realization or not.

But then there's the every day decisions, small and big, where God just wants us to do what will make us happy, and then he works with us to make that decision right for us. I felt that God approved of what I chose to study and since then has blessed me with incredible opportunities in my professional life. But I think it was largely my decision to pursue industrial design. I could have been a graphic designer, or a photographer, or an accountant. But I'm happiest where I am and God has blessed me and advanced me in it.

There are other things in my life that have been much different. God is most definitely guiding me to a specific result, and when it comes, I will exercise my agency and choose this thing that God has prepared for me.


Agency is great. And sometimes frustrating when we want to be guided in every single thing and God says, "you're a big boy, you're smart, you have the Holy Ghost to help you reason - use it." But I'm grateful that he trusts us enough to make our own decisions, learn from the poor ones, and be blessed in the good ones.

he hath made you free.

In Helaman 14:30 we read, ". . . for behold, ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free."

I like to switch out a word at the end; "God hath given unto a knowledge and he hath [created] you free."

I know it's not much of a change, but it helps me consider the importance of my divine identity.

Before we came to this earth to receive bodies, we only had a few things, namely our spirits and our ability to choose for ourselves.

I don't know how it was done, but our spirits were created and we came into existence. Heavenly Father created us with the ability to choose - it was an integral part of our spiritual identity and our ability to progress. And it's something he expected us to exercise immediately. I figure that existence resembled our current one - we started as spiritual infants and as we learned and exercised our agency, we grew.

We all chose Jesus Christ as our Savior - the evidence being our existence here on this earth.

God loved us enough to send us here and allow us to choose for ourselves. He doesn't stop bad things from happening and he doesn't control us, and it is out of love and respect for our spiritual identities. We were created free. We can sacrifice that freedom through our choices, but we can also retain or regain that freedom through our choices - by turning to the Savior's Atonement and turning to God.

I'm grateful for God's love and his trust.

remembering.

This is just a thought I had in church yesterday, I'm sorry I cannot recall what triggered it:

The topic of remembering has been one that has been very interesting to me over the past few years. The Book of Mormon is stuffed full of the idea of remembering and forgetting.

We must remember our covenants if we are to be happy in this life.

But the thought I had has mostly to do with the task of remembering in this life the things we knew in our lives before this one.

LDS doctrine teaches that we lived as spirits in Heavenly Father's presence before this life - having been created by him. We know the world was created, and a was Savior prepared and selected for us when we would inevitably sin and experience death.

So this is where the remembering thing comes in. Though I don't remember anything from that time of my existence, and you probably don't either - I feel like there are lots of things we have already remembered.

[This next part is my opinion and not solid doctrine] When we lived there, we had a testimony of Christ as our future savior, we knew who we were - children of God. We knew what would be asked of us in this life and we accepted those respective missions. We had talents and abilities that distinguished us from our spirit siblings. We had desires to return to God, having faithfully passed the test of mortality, trusting in Christ.

We forgot all these things as soon as we came to this earth - and so (I feel) that this life is to a large degree about remembering the things we once knew and already had testimonies of:

Christ as our Savior, our role in our families, who we would bless and who we would be blessed by in this life, what our talents are, what our mission on this earth is - who we are.

So, we must remember our spiritual identity. When we are faced with difficult decisions, or are unsure of what course of action to take, maybe we just need to remember what is most important in our life, so we can fulfill the will of God, and find happiness in remembering who we are and what we're here for.

the worth of a soul.

On my mind recently is this idea that every single soul is precious to God.

That is so many souls. Everyone who has ever lived, is living, and will ever live.



God knows every single person better than they know themselves. He also loves them more than anyone else does. 



I don't know the science behind how it works, but I know that it does. It's interesting; we're often called upon to do things (whether a calling, or something less formal) to help other people. It is in those moments of service that we have moments of clarity, feeling to some degree how God feels about this person, knowing minutely what Christ feels towards this person, and why he chose to suffer for that individual. It is a strange thing for me to feel; where it can be difficult at times to understand how someone else feels, let alone how someone else feels about someone else (if that makes sense).

We interact with hundreds of people and often get so focused on what we have to get done, and all the things that are important to us, feeling they are more important than what other people need.

I'm not good at looking outside of myself, but I'm grateful for recent experiences that have strengthened my understanding that despite the choices his children make, God loves and knows every single one of us. 

gifts.

I have been thinking about this a lot this week in preparation for a lesson.

D&C 46:11-12 "For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby." (Emphasis added).

I am very grateful for the fact that everyone is different from each other. I would hate to imagine a world where people like me were doctors, economists, and politicians.

We are born with passions - things that define us, drive us, and help make us who we are.

God has a special plan for those passions.

God has a special plan for our gifts - whether it's being sensitive to the people around us, being able to make anyone laugh, being able to play piano by ear, or being able to communicate clearly - we all have things that make us special and allow God to use us in special ways.

Recognizing those gifts, what we're good at, and what we excel is not prideful if we use them to help other people - that all may be profited.

We must recognize, develop, and share our talents - whatever they may be.

his timing.

Many years ago I had an experience when I was a missionary in the Missionary Training Center. It was one of our temple days and I was in the celestial room reflecting on some of my concerns.

A very clear thought came to my mind completely out of the blue. At first I was startled by its suddenness and wondered if I had somehow just made it up myself.

It was a promise of something that would happen in the future. 

Basically the distinct thought was, "You will see _______ happen."

It gave me a lot of comfort, but I was unsure how or when that promise would be fulfilled.

Over five years later I saw the fulfillment of that promise.

I share this experience for this purpose: God fulfills promises. Completely and fully. This is something I've addressed multiple times in this blog, but it is something that needs to be reiterated. We forget sometimes. We forget fairly often and pretty easily.

This promise was fulfilled. It took awhile. It required a lot of change. It required the Lord's timing and his love and knowledge of his children.

His timing is much better than our timing. Even if it isn't in this life, any promises he makes to us (if we are righteous) will be fulfilled.

We must not forget that. 

all are alike.

2 Nephi 26

"He commandeth none that they shall not partake of his salvation . . .

but he hath given [salvation] free for all men . . .

all men are privileged the one like unto the other, and none are forbidden . . .

and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile."

atonement.

In my current reading of the Book of Mormon I've had the question, "How do I access the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ?"

In each chapter of the Book of Mormon I've been trying to see what doctrine of the Atonement is being taught, or how the Atonement can help me in my day to day life.

Today I read 2 Nephi 4, also known as The Psalm of Nephi. Nephi talks about some of his trials, afflictions, and struggles, but then says "I know in whom I have trusted." He then goes on to expound on how he has been blessed and helped. I felt like the things he mentioned are all things that we have access to because Christ atoned for our sins, suffered for our afflictions and infirmities:

- He has been my support and preserved me through my afflictions
- I have been filled with his love
- He has confounded my enemies
- He has heard my cry
- He has given me knowledge
- Angels have come down and ministered to me
- Gives liberally if I ask not amiss.

That is a great list of things that we have access to on a daily basis if we choose to apply the Atonement in our lives.

Christ is our Savior, and we have access to these great blessings if we choose to seek for them.

without questions there are no answers.

Often times, as Latter-day Saints, we find that there are things with doctrine or church history that we just don't understand. There probably isn't even a good answer or explanation for something, and you'll just have to wait until God explains it to you face to face. But, you know what's awesome about having these questions? You look for answers.

Personal revelation is at the very core of our belief system; Joseph Smith had a question, he had an issue with the existing systems and asked God. That asking lead to the restoration of the gospel and God's authority.

When you and I have questions we are taught to go to God and seek answers. If there were no difficult doctrines, if there were only rainbows and puppy dogs, many of us would never come to a crux in our faith and our lives as Mormons. We wouldn't turn to God, and we wouldn't have a revelatory experience. We would just keep chugging along, never knowing for ourselves, never feeling like God could/would communicate with us.

So asking questions is good. It's the whole point of this existence. And when people join the Church it is through questions that they learn. We're the same. But we must remember that how we ask these questions is important.

You must ask questions from a point of faith rather than a point of doubt. You must build on the foundations of the things you do know and use that as your basis for growth and increased knowledge.

Elder Holland says, "In the growth we all have to experience in mortality . . . When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes."

He continues, "When problems come and questions arise, do not start your quest for faith by saying how much you do not have, leading as it were with your 'unbelief.' . . . I am asking you to be true to the faith you do have."

I'm grateful that God wants to communicate with me, and I'm grateful he gives me opportunities to build my faith and exercise that faith when it is difficult to see the whole picture.

this i know.

Sometimes, I feel like we try too hard to apply worldly definitions to things that are spiritual. We should be careful about trying to intellectualize and quantify spiritually rooted things.

Recently, there was some discussion about what knowing is. And how you can't know anything, including things that relate to religious experience.

I think that's bogus.

Partly because for me, knowing spiritually is distinct from knowing as we may be accustomed to using and quantifying it.

So. Despite people saying you can never know that God exists, you can just hope for it, or that you cannot really know that something is true, but you hope it is, I have this to say:

I know God lives. I know Jesus Christ is his son. I know Jesus Christ atoned for my sins. I know that God answers prayers. I know that God and Christ love me.

Because knowing spiritually does not have to be related to the tangible, quantifiable, and quantitative evidences we are accustomed to in other disciplines.

I know those things because God communicated to me; he sent me impressions, feelings, and witnesses through the Holy Ghost and the sacred feelings that accompany those experiences. Something entirely spiritual. Something that the only evidence or support I can give to my belief is, "I just know."

So yeah. I think you can know those things. But that's just my opinion I guess.