Check Engine.

My car has served me well since I've gotten it, but it's also needed a fair amount of work. There's been some sizable investments to keep it running. Recently the check engine light has come on and has been accompanied by some other indicators that it's probably close to needing some more work.

This week I've been preparing a lesson on President Uchtdorf's recent Conference talk, "On Being Genuine." Uchtdorf invites us to evaluate the motivations that we have, and to resist the temptation to draw attention to ourselves - to become humble, genuine disciples of Christ. He presents a few hypotheticals where we have an opportunity to check the health of our spirituality and then determine where we must make changes through grace and the Atonement.

I've been thinking about how often in our lives it can be very obvious when things are in need of repair or maintenance - there are warning lights, rumblings, and clunking. It's not always as easy to recognize our own need for spiritual and character repair or maintenance. It's not always as obvious that we are breaking, that we are suffering from character weaknesses, addictions, bad habits, or that our choices are causing damage to our spirituality.

This self-evaluation is necessary since we don't have a check engine light that comes on, and that hooks up to a computer to help us diagnose the issues. It takes humility, self-awareness, patience, introspection, and effort. In a world where we can fill our attention and time with many distractions it is easy to neglect the reflection, meditation, and prayerful hours necessary to evaluate ourselves and understand the changes we must make.

I'm grateful that God is patient with me, and speaks to me when I am willing to listen.

Grace.

I've been thinking about grace from time to time over the past months. I'd like to share some of the thoughts I've had on it. Keep in mind, these are just my opinions on the subject.



According to the Bible Dictionary the main idea of grace is "divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ."

When I was younger I used to think that Christ made up for the gap between God and I. Which is technically true, but with time I've come to better understand what grace is and what it means for me in my life.

In my more limited understanding of the Gospel I fell into the mindset of "Do your best and God will do the rest!"

Like if I were running a race and 80% of the way through I was dying of dehydration and exhaustion then Christ would step in and carry me the last 20% of the race. I think this mindset was reinforced by an incorrect understanding of the scripture found in 2 Nephi 25:23 " . . . for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do."

I think that Nephi is teaching something different than what I first thought.

Perhaps he is teaching, "in the end, regardless of how much 'we can do' it is grace that got us anywhere, and it is grace that enabled us the whole way. So in the end, it is by the grace of God through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we have been saved and we have finished the race."

From my understand grace is essentially always operative (if we are turning to God and striving to make changes). Any time we accomplish something difficult or overcome a trial or temptation it is because we have been enable by grace to do so.

In step 7 in the Addiction Recovery Program (Humility) it touches on the concept of being humble enough to ask for the Father's grace, "that through Him we might maintain this new way of life."

We will always be weak during our mortal existence. Grace is the oxygen and lifeblood that enables us to make any progress or conquer any challenge. If we are humble enough to accept that we cannot do anything by our own will and power, we can experience real change and mercy through grace.

We have access to God's grace because his Son Atoned for our sins, shortcomings, and weaknesses.

Part III: Addiction

The topic of addiction is one that has come into focus for me over the past months.

There is obviously a very negative connotation with the term addiction, especially as it is a huge obstacle to righteous living.

These are my thoughts on the subject, so take them how you want, and feel free to disagree - or hopefully add to the discussion. My hope is mostly that you receive some new insight on "addiction" and "addicts."

The truth is, I feel like every single one of us is an addict. Some addictions are more obvious than others, and some are more noticeably damaging than others. But whether it is an addiction related to gossip, food, our bodies, sex/pornography/lust, drugs, alcohol, judging, cruelty, envy, pride, etc - they all stem from the same origins, and require the same steps to overcome them.

I read a few months ago a collection of essays by a recovering porn addict (he groups sex and pornography into what he calls an addiction to lust - more or less the objectification of someone to meet your selfish desires) called "Sitting in a Row Boat throwing Marbles at a Battleship." (you can download it here). It was extremely illuminating, and I invite you to please take the time to read the essays. Either it's affecting you directly, or it's affecting someone you care about, and these essays will help you understand what you or they are going through. 

Anyway, in one of the essays he talks about how we often focus on the C of addiction. That is the acting out (viewing pornography, self harming, drinking, giving into pride, etc). But what is leading us to act out are the A and B.

The A of addiction is crushing negative emotions - loneliness, self loathing, stress, resentment, frustration, boredom, etc. These things hurt. And they make us hurt. Our brains want to remove that pain - they want to self medicate and numb that pain.

The B of addiction is that numbing of the pain. Chemicals are released in our brain when we participate in our addictions that make the pain go away. That could be by viewing pornography, taking a drink, or harming ourselves. These things can start out as curiosities, but they eventually become coping mechanisms to escape from the pain we feel (pain we might not even realize we are feeling).

That leads to the C of addiction. We act out on our addiction. The relief is temporary and we often feel even worse after giving in.

Whatever our religious beliefs, let us remember that we are all on our different paths to salvation and returning to live with God. We cannot compare our journey to someone else's. What may be a challenge for us is easy for them and vice versa. But whether you're 15 or 85 the steps to recovery are the same.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a program called the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP). It is patterned after the twelve step recovery program used by Alcoholics Anonymous - but it is with the focus and understanding of the Atonement and the truths of the gospel.

The 12 steps outlined in the ARP are essentially the systematic application of the Atonement in our lives. So whether you're trying to overcome an addiction to lust, an addiction to pride, or just be a little bit nicer to people, the steps are the same.

Every single one of us needs the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

You can find the steps of ARP here.

I just want to mention the first and second steps briefly: 

Step 1: Honesty - admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.

Step 2: Hope - come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.

The Atonement is real, and we all need it. We are all sinners who have come short of the glory of God. Let us be more aware of the struggles of those around us, and more aware of our own need for healing. Let us love each other and support each other.

charity is not easily provoked.

I think everyone can give you the standard definition of what charity is: the pure love of Christ. I've been reading Jesus the Christ, and a few weeks ago during a Sunday School lesson I had a thought on charity:

1 Corinthians 13:4-5
"Charity suffereth long, and is kind . . . [it] doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil."

What resonated with me recently is that charity "suffereth long, is kind . . . is not easily provoked." Looking to Christ's exemplary life, he was - especially in the last year of his ministry - continuously attacked. The scribes, Pharisees, and Sadducees tried to provoke him, to pin him down for blasphemy, and find something they could charge Him with.

Christ knew people's hearts; this came because of His closeness to the Spirit, His lineage of deity, and His humility and patience to understand the motives, fears, hopes, struggles, and faith of each daughter or son of God.

If we are to have charity like Christ, we must have that same humility and patience to understand those around us. We will always run into people we do not see eye-to-eye with, with whom we don't share political, religious, or moral beliefs, who drive us crazy. But charity demands that we have patience with these people and that we have the humility to take the time to try and understand why they have the beliefs they do. Just because someone disagrees with us on how the gospel should be lived, or which political candidate will best serve our country, it does not mean that they're ignorant, uneducated heathens.

Charity demands that we seek to understand the motivations of this person: what life experiences have led them to these conclusions and beliefs, what is most important to them, why do they feel the way they feel and how is that influencing their thought paradigm? What are their hopes, fears, struggles, and where do they put their faith?

We must reserve judgment, we must listen to the other side, and we must love them even when we disagree with what they fundamentally believe. We don't have to change how we feel, but we should give everyone the same humility and patience Christ gave. We can keep disagreeing, but if we try to understand each other, we will at least have a civil discussion that may lead to positive change, and we may even be able to be good friends despite our differences. We will not be easily provoked, but will seek to understand in place of drawing our own conclusions.

This is definitely something I can work on.

Part II: The Answer Will Come.

Part II:The Answer Will Come

Perhaps now more than ever (at least in our lifetime) there is discussion inside the church about different doctrines, policies, and traditions. I will not try to define the differences between those or categorize any of our current practices. This connectedness of the Church and its members leads to a lot of conversations – some edifying and enlightening and some divisive and damaging (how we approach these discussions largely determines which camp our conversations fall into). And there are many members who struggle to reconcile their personal feelings with the Church's current practices.

In our LDS temple ordinances there is lots of symbolism. Symbolism is awesome, but not the focus of this post. Part of the temple ordinances is a progression of gaining light and knowledge. We learn things that are dependent on the things before them, progressively growing - symbolically and literally - closer to the presence of God. But there is a part where it basically says, you won't learn this one piece right now, but you will learn it at the end (and you do).

A lot of those struggling to reconcile their personal feelings or beliefs with the Church's current practices are unable to receive the kind of answers they need. They may have received a peace about it in the past, but it can be difficult to rely solely on that peace without a full “explanation.”

To you, and anyone struggling with any kind of question about Church practices, Church History, etc – I would say “you will get your answer at the end.” I do not feel that God intends for us to understand everything right now. As much as we'd like him to send us an e-mail explaining in detail the why, what, and how of everything, God wants to give us an opportunity to develop and rely on faith in Him, His timing, and His will. When we face trials or doubt we have two options: hold tight to God, or turn away from him.

I know you've probably heard it a thousand times – have faith, it'll work out, blah blah – but it's true! God wants us to have to trust him, even when we don't have the full picture; to push aside our pride, develop humility, and focus on what we do know instead of what we don't. He knows that not giving us all the answers will give us an opportunity to turn to Him more often and with more fervor than if we were given everything whenever we wanted it. You can argue that my logic is flawed – but my point is, “hold to the truths you do know; it may not be until the resurrection that you get the answer and explanation you've been searching for – but it will come.” In the meantime God is giving you a chance to exercise faith, trust Him, and follow His prophets.

Part I: Did Not I Speak Peace to Your Mind?

Over the past 3 years the purpose of this blog has been to share spiritual insights and thoughts I've had. I've stayed away from lengthy posts and "sensitive" topics. However, I've had many things on my mind for a long time about my generation and the challenges we seem to face. I've written a few posts, the first of which follows:

Part I: Did Not I Speak Peace to Your Mind?

I want you to think back on your earliest memory of receiving a witness by the Holy Ghost of the truthfulness of some facet of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. Is that experience still a vivid memory? How often do you think back on it? Now compare your “spiritual maturity” at that time to where you feel you are at now. How have you changed? Have you grown? Have you progressed?

The purpose of this life is to grow, right? We're to gain experiences; learn how to master the natural man, find joy in relationships and service, accept Christ, and live His teachings. What is an intrinsic aspect of growth? I would say that it is an increasing level of difficulty. Think on your educational, physical, intellectual, or professional advancements. My experience in college was definitely more challenging than my high school experience, and consequentially much more rewarding and enjoyable for me. Similar parallels can be drawn regarding progress in the areas previously mentioned.

When we first started out on these journeys we began with the basics; we created foundations through our experiences to build on. We probably still continue to build on them, but in most cases, to keep growing we must continually increase our effort and dedication. It requires more effort to keep progressing.

Now back to your first experience with the Holy Ghost. I would say that for a majority of us that first witness was fairly simple. It may have been an overwhelming feeling of peace or love. That “simple witness” was the foundation for our testimony. We felt something, and it pushed us to act on the things we were being taught and try and live that life we felt God wanted for us. I'm not trying to generalize everyone's spiritual life and experiences, but I am saying that the level of effort it took to get those first witnesses won't be enough if we are to continue progressing.

Heavenly Father wanted to give us what we needed to start on our spiritual journey, but it's likely been years since then and He's probably hoping we've grown up a little in the meantime. Casual experiences with the Gospel or the minimal effort won't lead us to any kind of revelatory or edifying experiences. And we need those experiences to grow. God wants us to move past that initial foundation and keep building upward. He wants us to be agents to ourselves and to be the impetus in our own spiritual growth. He doesn't want to have to hold our hand through ever single little thing. He requires much more effort from us.

Today's generation faces a strange environment. The demand on our attention is intensely divided and our ability to focus on a singular thing is stunted. We switch been apps constantly, refreshing to see if there are new notifications, reading headlines and the first paragraph of news articles before jumping to a YouTube video that is 4 minutes long (waaaaay too long, I don't have time for that – I've got important things to do like sift through all the crap on my timeline) and jumping back to send a Snap that will disappear after 5 seconds. We struggle to unplug and meditate, to ponder, or give ourselves entirely to one thing. I've sat in a room full of friends where every single person in the room is checking something on their phone. We replace real experiences with digital interactions. Social media can be used for great good, and I'm not here to condemn it, but I am saying that our generation - the “Millennials” - faces a unique set of challenges and struggles that are woven into the fiber of our society and environment, and there is no getting around that.

So combine our stunted attention spans with the increased effort required to grow in the Gospel and we've got a difficult situation on our hands. Many of us are not truly dedicating the time and effort it takes to have spiritual experiences and commune with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. And because of that we second guess or marginalize our first or past experiences with truth and the Holy Ghost. So when we're not feeling the Spirit like we used to, and we're not relying on our foundations, and we come across something we “don't like” or “makes us uncomfortable” in the Gospel, we lean towards doubt and criticism. Feel free to disagree with me – I don't think I'm 100% right, or that this applies to every individual – but I'm trying to make sense of the struggles my generation faces. There are obviously other factors that play into this, and lead people to turn away from the Gospel.

But I feel like if we would discipline ourselves and sacrifice the time and effort it takes to have real experiences with the Gospel (attending the temple, fulfilling callings, actually studying the scriptures, having real conversations with God), remember the peace that God has spoken to us in the past, and rely on those answers when faced with doubt, we would be able to shake off the spiritual numbness we're experiencing. We could keep progressing, we could find greater happiness, and we could find many of the answers we seek.

In D&C 6 the Lord says to Oliver Cowdery, “cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things. Did not I speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?. . . Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.”

I want us to have lives filled with happiness, and I believe that it is through living the Gospel we are able to do that. Remember how you felt, lean on that when you are doubting; dedicate your time, your heart, and yourself to finding answers; build on that first testimony and don't give up or think that God has forgotten you or that you tricked yourself into believing he exists. He is there and he will answer your prayers.

there is a God.

The other night I had the opportunity to camp out on the Salt Flats with some friends. I knew it would probably be freezing, but since I had never been out there I didn't want to miss out on a chance to see them.

When we finally reached the flats we drove out a ways and parked the cars to look around. 

We were met with a truly unique and beautiful view.

The flats were covered in a few inches of water in places and the sky was full of stars. Those stars reflected in the water at our feet. It was breath taking. In the morning we were met with equally beautiful spectacles.

I cannot look at those things without thinking that there is a loving God behind them - the author and architect of this universe. To me, the fact that such variety and exquisite beauty exist on this earth and in this universe testifies that God loves us and wants us to find joy in this life.

"All things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness there is a Supreme Creator." Alma 30:44

I testify that there is a God, and that he loves us. 

the gospel is not an umbrella.

Today in a church meeting a leader was speaking on trials and (if I heard it correctly) he said, "The gospel is a not an umbrella - it is a rock." (Elder Scott Runyan I believe).

Often times we think that because of righteous living or because we're a "good person" we should be exempt from the storms of life. Some think if God is benevolent and loving, why would he ever let us go through hell?

Living the gospel does not protect us from storms of life - but it does give us the Rock of our Redeemer to hold onto. We have a solid foundation and we are not swept away by the winds, rains, or floods.

The Lord had big plans for the Jaredites - to bring them to a new, beautiful, promised land. The Lord impelled them through the winds across the ocean, but this didn't exempt them from storms. They were even swallowed up in the depths of the ocean (a natural side affect of the wind on the waters) and had to petition the Lord to bring them back to the surface so they wouldn't suffocate. The Lord always delivered them. And eventually they arrived at the promised land.

The gospel brings us true happiness. It doesn't exempt us from trials - but it does give us strength through Jesus Christ, the Redeemer and Enabler of the world.

no middle ground.

Oxford historian, Christian apologist, and former atheist, CS Lewis outlines a point that has been on my mind a lot recently. Known as "Lewis's Trilemma," he explained on a series of BBC Radio talks (later published in his book Mere Christianity) that there is no middle ground with Christ and his divinity. I think he says it much better than I can:

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept his claim to be [the Son of] God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would be a lunatic . . . or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this was, and is the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse.

You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to . . . Now it seems to me obvious that he was neither a lunatic nor a fiend: and consequently, however strange or terrifying or unlikely it may seem, I have to accept the view that He was and is [the Son of] God."

Either Christ is who he said he was–the Son of God–or he is the worst kind of liar.

Often times in our journey through life we go through periods of doubt, or questioning. That is human nature, and we are forced to fall back on the most fundamental aspects of our testimony.

The aspect that has been on my mind is this: Either God and his Son Jesus Christ appeared to the boy Joseph Smith or they didn't. Either he was called by them to restore the Church of Jesus Christ, or he wasn't. Either the Book of Mormon is the ancient record of a true and living people, or it is 100% a fraud.

I feel that whatever thing we are struggling with, the real questions we need to turn back to are, did Joseph Smith see Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ? Was he called by them to be a prophet? Is the Book of Mormon true?

And if we're struggling with even more basic truths than that: Does Heavenly Father love me and know me? Did Jesus Christ die for me?

The answer to all these questions is either yes or no. There is no middle ground. There is no kind of or sort of answers.

As for me, I know that Heavenly Father knows and loves me. I know that Jesus Christ died so that I can be made clean from sin and live with God again after this life. I know that they appeared to Joseph Smith and called him to restore the Church of Christ, and I know that he translated, through the gifts of God, the Book of Mormon.

find your mountain.

One of the best things about this life is that we're different.

You're inherently better at some things than I am. You're more dedicated, more sincere, or more perceptive. You're better at serving, or sharing. And that's fine. We'll hopefully use those things we're better at to help and build those around us - you know, Zion.

I've addressed this subject numerous times - revelation - but I'd like to take a slightly different approach.

We all feel close to God in different ways - and that's because we're different. I've felt close to Him through music, through sharing beliefs with others, through testifying, being in the temple, being with family or friends, or being alone. The list goes on.

Today during the Ogden Temple Rededication, Elder Bednar talked about feeling close to God and feeling at home in the temple. It lined up with some stuff I've been thinking about recently.

Mostly, that often times, I feel close to God, and I feel his love, and I feel his awareness of me, when I am surrounded by his creations. This past summer I made a goal to take advantage of the beauty that is so readily available in Utah. It was one of my bigger accomplishments this summer.

There is a reason the temple is called The Mountain of the Lord. I think we all need to find where we personally feel closest to God. Then we can better feel his influence, his guidance, his approval, and his council.

I think many of us feel close to him when we see the beauty of his creation and how small we are comparative to this earth - which hopefully causes us to feel greater awe at God's love for us insignificant beings.

So, we're all different, we all feel close to God in different ways. I'm grateful that I've been able to find some of those ways - and that I've found my literal and figurative mountains.

all the answers.

If we had all the answers right when we wanted them, would we appreciate them as much? Would we have a chance to build and exercise our faith?

I know there's lots of people who would disagree with my ideology on this - that's fine. But, I feel like looking back on my own life, the things that have taken more time, and more work to obtain are the things I value, cherish, and appreciate more. There are plenty of things that have come easily and quickly to me, and I'm grateful for them - but there are other things that have taken a long time, or still haven't come - and when they do I'm certain I will be in the best position to recognize their worth. In the meantime I have a chance to live by faith.

A principle I've learned from attending the temple is that God often says, "that won't be revealed to you right now, but at a later point, it will be." And then it is.

I think we need to recognize that in our lives we're not ever going to have all the answers. Whether you're struggling with understanding God's will, wondering why certain things happen, have issues with doctrine or history - I think we would all benefit from telling ourselves, "Not now - but it will come later." Even if it's not during this life - that's okay. You're okay. We've got enough to go off of. To exercise and build faith requires that we don't know everything.

It may seem an oxymoron - but sometimes I'm grateful that I don't have all the answers, and that God gives me opportunities to build and live on faith.

time only is measured unto men.

I was reading in Alma 40, where Alma is teaching his son Corianton about the resurrection and what happens to us when we die. He talks about the timing of being resurrected, and what our spirits do between when we die and the time of our resurrection.

The end of verse 8 stuck out to me.

". . . all is as one day with God, and time only is measured unto men."

We - or I at least - have a very finite understanding of the eternity of time, and the timing of things. I'd like to better understand God's omniscience and comprehension of time - but that will probably require a considerable amount of learning, and a resurrected body. So for now, I take consolation in knowing that God sees everything: where I've been, what I'm going through, and the potential for my future.

Sometimes I find myself wishing that the blessings would come immediately - a direct and obvious correlation between an action and a blessing or confirmation.

But that's not what faith is, and that's not what trusting God is. That's not the purpose of this life.

God is good and he knows what is good for me. I know that he is in the details of our lives and is directing us to our happiness if we'll be patient and listen. 

fathers.

Having heavenly parents has always made a lot of sense to me. Not because it's something my religion made up to make it feel natural and acceptable when compared to our social norms - but because our families here are patterned after our family in heaven.

In heaven and on earth we are made in their image, and we are their children.

So how do you get to know a Father in Heaven that you can't see. For me, it's been through prayer and understanding the love that my earthly father has for me. The relationship I have with my dad is a type of the relationship I have with my Father in Heaven.

This guy has taught me a whole lot and has always loved me.

Most of that teaching has been through his example:


Consistency. In living the gospel, in fulfilling responsibilities, in taking me home teaching, in there never being a question about whether we'd be going to church that week.

Hard work and diligence reward themselves. Never incentivizing me to do well in school, but expecting that I put my best effort into my studies, talents, and passions.

Meekness and humility. Being teachable, listening, never raising his voice at me, showing when to be patient and when to stand up for yourself.

Follow your passions. He has been following his own dreams for the last 15 years, and as a result I have been able to follow his example with my own goals and dreams. He never told me that art was stupid and that I'd never make money at it - he was supportive and just wanted me to be the best at what I cared about.

Dad jokes. I've worked hard to follow his example and achieve a similar skill set.


I think about these things I learned from my dad and his special way of showing love for me, it's not difficult for me to see how God loves me uniquely and individually.

I know not everyone comes into a situation where their father is supportive or caring, but I'm grateful that my earthly father emulates the love of my Heavenly Father.

my mission.

Today marks four years since I returned home from my mission in Northern California.

As I've been thinking about that experience and my life since being home I've thought about what I gained from serving a mission, and how those things still affect me today.

If you're thinking about serving a mission, I have just a few things to say. It's between you and God when and if you serve - but you will never regret taking that time out of your life to serve others, grow closer to God, get to know yourself better, and have invaluable, life changing experiences. If a mission is not for you or you cannot serve, know that God can give you those experiences through other means.



The things I learned or gained from my mission:

• Learned what it's like to be an immigrant in the US - the culture and issues that those people face on a day to day basis.
• There are so many new and awesome things you can experience if you step out of your comfort zone - food, culture, schools of thought, people, skills, etc.
• How God communicates with me and some of the ways that I receive personal revelation.
• Establishing patterns in my life - scripture study, prayer, temple attendance.
• How to live the gospel as me - if God wanted robots to preach the gospel, we'd have an army of robot missionaries - instead he calls young individuals to teach. I learned that there were strengths (and weaknesses) that I had that others didn't - which was a good thing. We strengthened and complimented each other, and reached people who couldn't have been reached by others.
• Patience, diligence, and faith.
• God keeps promises.
• The gift of agency. 
• The Atonement not only allows us to be forgiven of sin, but to overcome our weaknesses, and be enabled to do hard things. 
• God's plan is much better than mine.
• Spanish. 

Those are just some of the things. 

I'm grateful for those two years, the companions I had, the people I taught, the experiences I had, and for the things I gained from serving a mission. 

agency.

I've always thought Agency and the Fall would make a fantastic hardcore band name.


Agency is one of my favorite facets of the gospel - and perhaps one that causes me the most personal frustration.

In D&C 58:26-29 the Lord is pretty straightforward when he says, ". . . it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things . . . is a slothful and not a wise servant . . . men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will . . . the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves . . . he that doeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned."

Agency is sacred to our Father in Heaven - it's why he "lets bad things happen." He cannot and will not step in every time someone chooses to use their agency unwisely, including when it hurts his children whom he loves.

This is not to say that he is not a God of miracles whose will cannot be thwarted - but he loves us enough to let us make decisions ourselves.

I'm pretty opinionated about certain aspects of agency, but I'll treat one of them briefly.


It is my personal opinion that each of us has a specific mission to fulfill in this life. And that mission is best fulfilled if certain things happen in our lives. For some it's where and if they serve a mission, for others it is a specific career, or a certain place they should raise their family, or how many kids they should bring into the world, and for others it is who they should marry, etc. I think for each of us it's usually only one or two these things - not all of them. And this is where the agency thing comes into play.

We can choose to not fulfill our earthly mission. God will not force us to do any of these things, though he may spiritually slap us around until we realize how foolish we're being - again that's a choice we make - to act on that realization or not.

But then there's the every day decisions, small and big, where God just wants us to do what will make us happy, and then he works with us to make that decision right for us. I felt that God approved of what I chose to study and since then has blessed me with incredible opportunities in my professional life. But I think it was largely my decision to pursue industrial design. I could have been a graphic designer, or a photographer, or an accountant. But I'm happiest where I am and God has blessed me and advanced me in it.

There are other things in my life that have been much different. God is most definitely guiding me to a specific result, and when it comes, I will exercise my agency and choose this thing that God has prepared for me.


Agency is great. And sometimes frustrating when we want to be guided in every single thing and God says, "you're a big boy, you're smart, you have the Holy Ghost to help you reason - use it." But I'm grateful that he trusts us enough to make our own decisions, learn from the poor ones, and be blessed in the good ones.